Emanations of a Lost Soul?

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You are viewing the most recent 20 entries.

25th July 2009

Sat, July 25 - 0:53: Code refactoring = awesome
I just got a noticeable speed increase in my ELS Code Seeker by changing a few lines in the searching loop.

I am feeling quite happy right now. ^_^

- Zeke

27th June 2009

Sat, June 27 - 23:54: A post

Am I the only person who didn't care Michael Jackson died?

11th June 2009

Thu, June 11 - 3:07: Omegle is crazy.
I am currently talking to a Chinese man who is confessing about his desire to rob other people to take their money and possibly kill if necessary.

The conversations I have on here are amazing.

- Zeke

7th May 2009

Thu, May 7 - 15:26: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!11eleventy11!!

Okay... wow.

Just wow.

- Zeke

Current Mood: a-fucking-mused

7th April 2009

Tue, April 7 - 6:07: Ugh FINE
Meme: If your life were a soundtrack, what would the music be?

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. New question-- press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. (Optional) include your thoughts.

SongsCollapse )

24th March 2009

Tue, March 24 - 21:00: Yet another proof.

Ozmoroid is a pretty smart cookie.  I've liked him for a while.  Hope you enjoy!

15th March 2009

Sun, March 15 - 1:35: What do you think?

7th March 2009

Sat, March 7 - 20:21: It really could, y'know?

1st January 2009

Thu, January 1 - 23:57: You didn't think I was going to do it, did you?

Damn right.

- Zeke

31st December 2008

Wed, December 31 - 16:24: I've been considering starting a new life in Memphis, Tennessee for a while now.  There's plenty of opportunities for employment, and a lot of houses for rent at prices between $600-1000/mo. and I'm not talking about run down fixer-uppers, I'm talking about decent 3 bedroom, 2 bath places that I could afford by myself on a low-wage job.  Then again, if that's still not a possibility for me, I can get an apartment there for $400-500/mo.  That's really nothing, and I know I don't use much in the way of electricity or other bills, my most expensive one would probably be internet, because I can't live without that.  Altogether, I could probably get away with living for just under $1200/mo. in Memphis, in a house, with everything I have here and then some.

The only real thing stopping me is the fact that I'd never see anyone here again.  Sure, I'd be online a lot, since I don't have people to hang out with, and thus would always be in contact, but still it's depressing to know that I can't just pick up and go see them.  Sure, I don't have a lot of opportunities to do so now, but there's some new things going on in my life here, and if I just picked up and left, those would very quickly fall through, and I'd have to again start from scratch.  I won't know for sure if I'm doing this until earliest Jan. 15th, but it's a real possibility and it's not terribly impractical.

I was thinking about it, a question of the day has been done by a lot of people so I'm not too apt to do that.  Instead, I'm gonna do a daily update called "10 Things I Found Online".  This will start New Years Day.  I find stuff ALL the time, and I want to share it with my friends.

That's it.

- Zeke

3rd December 2008

Wed, December 3 - 14:03: I'd like to make a Question of the day
This is the question of the day:

"WHAT are the top 10 countries that you would NEVER move to?  Which ones are your true absolutely NOT's?"

- Zeke

23rd November 2008

Sun, November 23 - 20:44: More Plans
After Monday, on Tuesday there is thoughts of going out with Andreia again, and on Wednesday I'm gonna head up to Santa Clarita for my b-day and Thanksgiving goodness.  Also looking forward to hanging out with friends I never do anymore, and maybe even finding a room up there, it'd be good for me to get out of the house here soon.  Uhmm... after that, probably on Friday or so, I don't know, so I'll be looking forward to finding something!

- Zeke

22nd November 2008

Sat, November 22 - 21:29: Plans
Okay, so tonight I will be hanging out with a girl named Andreia.  She seems really cool, and we'll be smoking some hookah and watching TV or something.  Just getting to know each other.  I'm kind of nervous, I haven't been in the dating scene for over two years, so I'm quite rusty.  Uhmm... I'll also be hanging out with Carol-Jean on Monday for coffee.

I guess I still got it.

- Zeke

21st November 2008

Fri, November 21 - 15:56: O_o
I'm sitting next to my computer, and I see two random fruit flies show up on my can of beer.  They dance around for a little bit, one examines the other, gets on top of her and begin mating.

Even the flies are gettin' more than me.

- Zeke

19th November 2008

Wed, November 19 - 1:22: Well it finally happened
Me and Luella's relationship is officially over. We'd been "on a break" for a while, but I still laid down the ground rule of no sex. She agreed, and that was that. She'd been going out on dates with several guys for a while now, which didn't bother me as that didn't break the ground rule, so whatever. Every time she went out I was like "Okay, seeyah soon", because I trusted her not to do anything stupid and I thought I had taught her another way. Today though (technically yesterday), was different.

At first I didn't really know how it was different, I was just really worried about her date today. By all surface appearances it was the same as anything else she had done before, but I couldn't get a nagging feeling out of my brain that something was going to go terribly wrong today. Before she left for the date, inside I was almost panicking, and as such I reacted accordingly. I gave her a reminder of sorts about me and the ground rules, by giving her kisses and such, and she seemed to like it. After she left, I just kept thinking about it. I tried to stop by thinking about other issues and assuring myself that I can trust her, she's good. I thought about the current state of the US economy, with the fiat currency system and how much it's royally fucked us over, our banking system with a low as hell reserve requirement and things, which I have a rant about later but for now means nothing. Around 10:30PM I had to stop myself from calling her just to give her another reminder, it bothered me that much. This had never happened before between me and her, but on more than one occasion I have had an uncanny natural feeling about things she does and I was apt to trust this feeling again. At 11:00PM I came inside and started playing Guitar Hero, to try and assuage myself of this growing concern. At 11:30, I knew what had happened... it was true. I don't know how I knew, I just did.

At 11:52PM, she comes in the door, and lays on the couch, closes her eyes, and gives that "smile" to space. I know this smile, I've seen it many times before because of what I've done, but this time I had done nothing. I asked her what happened, and she just said "It was goooood." I swear my blood turned to ice. I kept pressing her for what happened, and eventually said "You had sex, didn't you?" She responded by saying "I refuse to answer that question." Thanks, Luella. Eventually, in a very roundabout way, she admitted to doing this after further pressing. She had slept with someone else. I kind of just emotionally detached myself from the situation and talked to her about it, and then said that it didn't bother me. I told her that it was over, there was no chance of us getting back together again and our NSA situation was out, but nonetheless I forgave her and wanted to continue being a friend with her. She was very disconcerted by this, because she truly wanted to still have a chance of salvaging this relationship. However, no matter what really happens, short of me thoroughly catching up with her 'number', I can't get myself to even want her. I still love her deeply, but I don't want her.  I said that I'll still be there for her, still listen to her, and still care for her, as I always will.  But that is really the end of any significant romantic relationship, and while I can't explain to you or myself why it bothers me enough to truly end it, it just does.

I feel kind of unjustified in this, I should be able to just accept it and move on, but I can't.  She said she wouldn't be bothered if during this break from each other that I go out and have a fling, but that wasn't the point.  It wasn't even the sex part that bothered me terribly, if we had had an agreement with each other that this was okay, I wouldn't have even questioned it or been bothered by it, it's that she broke my trust.  I truly believed I could trust her with anything, including going out with other guys and she'd be wise enough not to do that on a first date.  She told me it was just so 'perfect', he had candles and wine and the whole nine yards, explaining that he had no intentions of doing that with her, but it still happened, and both he and she still welcomed it.

I guess it's time for me to move on, find another love or maybe enjoy a more permanent single life.  I liked being single, and I'm not much of a swinger so it's more about cold turkey than anything else.  Or maybe I'll find someone in the future, I'm not willing to dismiss that possibility just yet.  Luella will remain my friend, but for romance, I no longer have any interest in her there.  That's all I can say.

This video made me feel better, I smiled: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tukL38vXQzg

- Zeke

10th September 2008

Wed, September 10 - 4:10: Well...
As of four hours ago, they turned on the LHC.

Oh look. We're still here.

What a surprise.

- Zeke

2nd July 2008

Wed, July 2 - 22:12: Unique Things: Has Anyone Done Them?

Had to do it when I found it on a buddys journal, since it's relevant to recent events.

* Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody else on your friends list has done.
* See if anybody else responds with "I've done that." If they have, you need to add another!(2.b., 2.c., etc...)
* Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.

1) I was involved in a traffic collision on the 405, causing me to perform a full 360 degree spin, by a semi. The semi was driven by an unlicensed mexican. Obviously this is still being a big problem for me, but I managed to right myself perfectly from a pit manneuver executed by a 16-wheeler, that's what's important, so I helped make sure a big accident didn't become a big problem on rush hour.

2) I was given a $500 program by a company's Founder and CEO entirely for free simply because I placed it on my top wish list in my blog. REALsoftware is just an amazing company, I could have never expected this to occur. I am going to purchase the documentation and the books for this, and I have to say I have never been more impressed by a company, found on or off the internet.

3) I was frisked by a hooker at work. It was scary.

- Zeke

26th June 2008

Thu, June 26 - 19:26: Things Quinn Wants
I've been doing a lot of shopping online, and have found myself with an extensive Want List of things I cannot afford at this time. I know that all of my friends are even more dirt broke than I am, but I figure hell, at least I should show them what I do want in the situation of say my Birthday coming up and I STILL don't have them, or maybe making up for ALL THE ONES YOU GUYS MISSED. Christmas can come too.

- Creature Factory Educational DVD: I really REALLY want this, and will honestly probably be buying this in the near future. I've been out of the loop with Blender for a while, and honestly never felt very good at doing any of my modeling, and I think that this would be a step in the right direction. It's supposed to teach you everything you need to make a small animated short using Blender, and is currently the most up-to-date 'documentation' they've got on the program. I'd really like to see a book come out for version 2.46, but since they just made one for 2.43, I don't think that's happening any time soon... even though the new features of 2.46 look f'ing awesome. I guess I'll learn them on the way. COST: $40.57

- REALbasic: This has been on my want list for quite a while, but has been significantly reduced from the Want List ever since I got Linux, since there is a free version of it on there (I REALLY like it, by the way). However, I still want to use it to develop cross-platform programs, and as such need a Professional Version license. Since I'm getting the software, some educational materials couldn't hurt, about $130 worth of various printed books and whatnot. COST: $630

- Reaktor 5 Synth Studio: This program looks beautiful, and I could make some great audio tracks with it. I've been looking hard, but simply can NOT find a fully functioning Sound Synthesizer with as many options as Reaktor in the Open Source community, even using Linux. There's some great NLE's, audio editing programs, and others, but nothing as far as synthesizing goes. Rather unfortunate, really. COST: $449

- Nintendo DS (Onyx Color): Obvious reason, I think. I want this system for work, either this or the next item...

- Gamepark Holdings' GP2X: An awesome platform in every way, simply not embraced by mainstream gaming audiences, and thus game designers. It's a 100% free platform, meaning anyone can design a game for the system without any previous permission from Gamepark Holdings. I want one of these more than just for building games for it, I also like that it's a music and movie player (that supports OGG). There's dozens of other small features, and since it's running the Linux OS, the entire OS part is just as customizable, allowing endless possibilities (for other developers to create). I'd really love to see systems like this get up and running, and competing with the big boys.

- Wii Points!: I've got a serious addiction... ever since I quit smoking and drinking and horrible things, I had to find something else to blow my money on, which is now Wii Points! Every time I say "Wii Points!", I have to put an exclamation point behind it. That's the fact, that's how much I want Wii Points!

That's all I can think of for now... there will be more later.

- Zeke

10th June 2008

Tue, June 10 - 17:05: Well, what has been going on in my life you might ask...

First off, for those who do not know, I have a Wii. It is a purchase that I will never regret, this system is awesome. The game that came with it, Wii Sports, was enough to get the rest of my family to purchase their own system, and my girlfriend is getting one of her own too. I'll admit, I spend a lot on my Wii, but I'm glad I have it. I still don't have an extensive game library, but I've been having way too much fun with the Wii Shop, buying classic games and such. Eventually I intend on having a great deal more games for this system, next paycheck is getting Twilight Princess.

Otherwise, I've been chillin'. G's house is much cleaner than it is normally (with her in it), since she's gonna be gone until July 30th at the earliest. Guess I can live with that.

- Zeke

6th April 2008

Sun, April 6 - 13:44: In true [info]brown_wolf spirit, I have made a Birthday Wish Marquee

Happy Birthday to [info]x_lostnfound_x!!!

- Zeke